Live. Laugh. Learn. Love.

Over the weekend one of my friends confessed he had a crush on me and all I could think about was my ex, what he would say, what he would do and I felt so uncomfortable. Which is why I could not even really enjoy the time I spent with my friends. Thats why the other night I was so upset and just wanted to talk to him, but then when he really didnt recipricate my feelings or open up to me I realized things really needed to change. When I said that I was no longer going to let him get me upset I meant it. Finally being able to look at myself in the mirror and say that I am OK without him is a wonderful feeling. For the past couple of days I have been able to think about him and not cry or even really be phased. This is what I thought would never happen. I had to spill my heart to him for me to be able to let go. Now that all of my unsaid feelings were finally let out I can honestly say that now I can move on and be happy with myself, my life, and everyone around me.

The last time I saw you before I left with tears running down my face you told me you love me. Those words meant the absolute world to me, and I cherished those last minutes I had with you in my heart to keep them forever… We had only been broken up a week and you already had your profile picture of you and another girl. We had only been broken up two weeks and you already had on your about me how you were ready for the right girl to walk in. Was everything you said to me our last night together a lie? Was it just that easy to move passed the entire year of your life we devoted to each other? When we talked the night before you went back I believed every word that came out of your mouth. You told me how you wouldn’t be looking for any other girls; how it would be too soon; how you wanted to get your life back on track before even thinking about trying to find someone. When you said all that I believed it with all my heart, but now I am thinking maybe I should not have. I wanted so bad for you to somehow end up back here with me, but I knew that this time was different. Even though I know in my mind that we can no longer be together does not mean that my heart does not long to hear those wonderful words that you miss me and love me too. I cannot keep waiting around for you to tell me those things because all I am doing is hurting myself. So today is the day I vow to dry my tears and open my eyes to the beautiful world around me and people who surround me. I cannot keep dwelling on what could have been because God closed that door for a reason. Today is the day I stand up taller than I ever have before and fight the sadness so that I can clearly see the wonderful things as they come my way.